Your iPhone camera is an even better friend (finally there’s a good reason to take selfie videos). Practice until you memorize it: if not the whole speech, then at least the order of the candles. Practice your candle lighting speech & poems several times. “For candle number eleven, I’d like to invite Kevin…even though he’s probably upset he didn’t light candle number seven” 6. Rhyme with the candle number to be extra clever. Because a memorable poem is all that matters in the end. To find cool rhymes – Rhymezone is your friend. If you’re writing a poem – rhymes are what you’ll show em’. If you stretch it more than that – you’ll start noticing people grabbing their phones and scrolling on their Instagram feed looking for something more interesting. Try to keep each speech/poem short & snappy: 5-10 sentences per person is more than enough. Remember: A candle-lighting speech/poem is not the same as a Bar/Bat Mitzvah speech, so don’t treat them the same way. Otherwise, 12-13 candles will quickly turn into a 12-13-hour snooze fest. You don’t want to ramble on endlessly for each person you invite to light a candle. Otherwise, you’ll sound like a robot… And nobody likes to hear a personal story from Siri. In other words: when you give the speech – try to match your body language and tone of voice with the words you’re saying. In fact, a famous study from 1967 (!) showed that words are responsible for only 7% of personal communication, while body language and tone of voice are responsible for 55% and 38% respectively. Your body language and tone of voice are the other half. The words you use are only half the battle. Yes, it does require some extra effort, but believe me – it’s worth it. Trust me, auntie Rachel wouldn’t like to be called up the stage with the exact same speech you gave auntie Bracha. This goes hand in hand with telling a personal story. Make sure you don’t repeat yourself over and over again. Who the hell is cutting onions over here?! 2. That shows you what type of person she is.īracha, I truly appreciate everything you’ve done and for being here with us tonight…” Because if she hadn’t, she wouldn’t have met my dad in one of the concerts she was playing, and I wouldn’t be standing here today.īracha flew all the way from Australia (that’s a 16-hour flight!) to attend my Bar Mitzvah. Bracha always encouraged my mom to keep playing the violin, even when everyone else told her: “Meydele – you should quit this violin nonsense and go get a real job”. “I would like to thank my mom’s cousin, Bracha, for coming all the way from Australia to my Bar Mitzvah.īracha and my mom grew up together, and she keeps telling me how much fun they had playing in their high school band when they were young. In most cases, the candle lighting order looks something like this: You’d be surprised how easily a nice gesture can backfire. Point is – think carefully who should light candles, and in what order. Think about it – wouldn’t auntie Rachel get offended if you called auntie Bracha to light a candle before her? Decide the order you’re going to call them upĬareful, you’re still walking on eggshells with this one… Trust me, you don’t want to wake up the next day and find out that auntie Rachel was so pissed that you didn’t invite her to light a candle, that she blocked you on Facebook (especially since auntie Bracha was invited! Shame on you!). We don’t want any hurt feelings, now do we? Decide who you’re going to call up to light a candle Well, it’s the same deal when you light Bar/Bat Mitzvah candles – you can choose to add an extra candle for good measure (just in case 12/13 candles aren’t enough to squeeze in poor auntie Bracha). Now, let me ask you this: have you ever blown out birthday candles?ĭo you remember that extra candle for “good luck”? Hold your horses there, tiger! (cool – horses and a tiger in one sentence) This isn’t exactly rocket science, now is it?
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